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    Victoria's 'Musings' - Various Thoughts ...


      God help me! I was flipping through the July 2007 "Marie Claire" magazine , when I stumbled upon a collection of handbags ("candy bags," pp. 44-45). My first thought was "I want one!" The catch? ... The prices range from $40.50 - $8,750.00 (and I wasn't loooking at the cheaper ones! ;-)


      It's funny, as a guy I love darker clothing (navy t-shirts, ...), but as a girl, I adore lighter colors (fuchsia, pink, red, white ...)!


      My wife talked me into going shopping with her yesterday at Target, ... - a sunny Saturday (June 2007). I wasn't very thrilled about changing from my femme clothes back to drab, especially on a hot day, and as I caught my reflection in various windows, mirrors, etc. I realized that I was kind of in an "ugly duckling" phase (ugly being too strong, but you get the drift), where I am somewhere between male and female. It's expected, and unavoidable.

      This realization was contributing to my relative sourness and indifference re: shopping that afternoon. Additionally, after we got back home - and I was able to change back into my miniskirt, cotton (Gap) tank top, etc. - as my mood improved I also realized that I "just" look much better - more natural, comfortable and relaxed - dressed this way!! It's true, and makes a lot of sense. It also cheered me - anticipating the day that I can dress like this, as I wish! ... :-)


      I'm so lucky!! ... My wife never criticizes me, and is always offering cheerful compliments!! ... :-)


      We just had our 18th counseling session with Sam (Sept. 05, 2007)! The last few sessions have been very good, as I approach (~1 month) my first appointment with my endocrinolgist. Reflecting on all of this, my thoughts quickly clarified that this 'feels right!' One of my expectations (long-term) is that life will definitely be more interesting, living in a more feminine role (to whatever extent that becomes). Additionally, during this whole process, I have been been noticed that I am less inward-looking (introverted), and more extroverted, being genuinely more interested in meeting and interacting with people. Overall, I believe that this process is (and will continue) making me a 'better' person! :-)


      While reading my news-related material at the gym, I just came across a new, interesting word: "interoceptive:" adjective; pronunciation: "in-t&-rO-'sep-tiv; etymology: interior + -o- + -ceptive (as in receptive); definition: of, relating to, or being stimuli arising within the body and especially in the viscera. Sample usage: ""We know that the insula and the connected regions are thought to play an important role in interoceptive information, which determines how the individual senses the physiological condition of the entire body." The interoceptor (noun) is a specialized sensory nerve receptor that receives and responds to stimuli originating from within the body.





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