I finished reading this book last evening (Friday May 18, 2007), and very much enjoyed reading it. I mentioned this fact to my therapist (Sam Allen) on Wednesday May 16 as I was half-way through the book - that I was simply enjoying the narrative, without seaching for 'answers' - and he said something to the effect that I had moved beyond the "reading / searching for relevance" stage. Jennifer Boylan, an accomplished writer, presents an engaging accounting of her transgendered life, in a manner that will hold the interest of virtually anyone. I think that this would be an excellent book for both trans people and familes & friends of trans people, for a number of reasons. For example, as I was finishing reading this book, I noted that Jenny Boylan tells her story, and the driving forces behind her evolution from male to female, without going into the minutiae of the processes involved. Although some of the story necessarily involves some description of her sexual reassignment surgery, this is presented in a non-clinical manner, focusing more on the context of her personal relationships, rather than the procedure itself. Also absent are detailed descriptions of hair removal (electrolysis; laser hair removal), feminizing hormonal therapy (hormones) and other private details of the gender transitioning process, that are of particular interest to rather few people. Accordingly, I think that this book makes a wonderful contribution to anyone's bookshelf / coffee table!
Trans Forming Families: Real Stories About Transgendered Loved Ones, 2nd Edition To Order: List price $13.95 post paid. Make check out / mail to: Mary Boenke 180 Bailey Blvd. Hardy, VA 24101 Email maryboenke@aol.com for further information. "About the Editor: Mary Boenke is the mother of three adult offspring, including a female-to-male son. She is a retired psychotherapist, founder and president of the Roanoke, VA PFLAG chapter, Chair of PFLAG's Transgender Network, an author, speaker, trans activist, and describes herself as a chronic rabble rouser. This is her first book which has sold out and is now into the second edition."
From: MaryBoenke@aol.com To: Victoria; David Parker Subject: Re: I wish to order a copy of "Transforming Families ..." Date: Tue, 15 May 2007 ... I am nearly out of the 2nd edition. My successor, chair of PFLAG's Transgender Network, David Parker is republishing the book, Trans Forming Families ... as a 3rd edition, with little change.
I know that many couples just starting to deal with transgender issues are referred to "MHB" as a good introduction / starting point for exploring their own 'issues.' However, I do not share that view, as I believe that Helen's own gender issues, combined with her writing style, are likely to increase - rather than alleviate - angst and confusion. Her books are important contributions, but probably should be read "later" in the broader 'philosophical' context, if you are interested in transgender issues. My own recommendation would be that couples beginning to deal with the subject of transgenderism first start reading a few first-person accounts from TG/TS people (such as Wrapped in Blue...) to better understand the origins of our issues, as well as more 'clinical' background reading material that is aimed at the layperson (such as True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism ...). One excellent book that is relevent to this discussion is Virginia Erhardt's book, Head over Heels: Wives Who Stay With Cross-Dressers and Transsexuals (refer above).
As an adjuct to competent professional help that can and should be sought from licensed 'TG-experienced' psychotherapists/counselors, there are also some very good discussion groups, message boards & forums on the web that can provide much-needed advice and support. These boards are (mostly) populated by motivated, sincere and sensitive individuals who offer advice and support. Since I am being particularly hard on Ms. Boyd, I'll add that I really do admire both her and Betty (both of whom appeared on a recent "Dr. Keith Ablow" show; Betty also recently appeared in a rather historic "All My Children" episode), and that she maintains a message board, the My Husband Betty message boards. I hope that these comments have been helpful. V. :-)