Victoria S* - A Personal Introduction...

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Photograph: Victoria, March 10, 2007


Greetings everyone!

My name is Victoria S*; I am a 46 year-old MTF transperson. I have been married for almost 20 years now (no children) to a wonderfully supportive wife. Although we are both Canadians, "Sunshine" (not her real name, of course) have been living and working in Durham, North Carolina for almost 7 years now, though we may be returning to Canada, perhaps within the next few months (early 2008), for various reasons. If and when this day arrives, it will be with some sadness, as we have become quite fond of this region and it's fine people, especially the wonderfully vibrant, diverse and supportive local gender support groups. Regardless, I will remain in contact, particularly through a transgender advocacy discussion group that I started, called TransAdvocates.

I have been actively, though carefully transitioning for exactly a year now; both Sunshine (a "GG, genetic girl,") and I have been seeing a counselor, been having laser treatments (and some electrolysis for me), attending local gender support groups, and I recently have started feminizing hormonal therapy, under the guidance of an endocrinologist. A local university (UNC-Greensboro) is offering MTF voice training and communication classes, that I will be attending weekly for about 3 months, starting late in January 2008.

I consider myself to be transgendered - not transsexual - the difference primarily being that I do not consider myself to be a "woman trapped in a man's body," but I need to simply be who I am, which is more feminine than masculine. I intend to remain with my wife, and I do not plan to seek SRS, though I may consider FFS, etc. I am currently "in stealth" (closeted), though frankly, this is less and less of a concern. Since I am only at my current position for another few months (expiry of a somewhat prestigious fellowship), there was no need to "rock the boat," unnecessarily. I see myself as being more-or-less completely "out" sometime in 2008, but I do not fear discovery, prior to that time.

As you can imagine, I have been interested in gender-related issues for quite some time, prior to 2007. As I began, I was mostly an observer, absorbing everything that I read and heard at discussion / support groups - really, learning where I fit in the gender continuum. It didn't take long for everything to "click," including my thoughts and desires, both short- and long-term. I am of the philosophy - shared by my wife - that one must actively embrace and enjoy life and life's challenges. I don't want to look back one day with regrets over missed or unfulfilled opportunities, or "what might have been, if only I had ..." My transitional evolution is making me a better person, and I embrace the challenges that arise, including advocating on behalf of the transgendered.

Much of what I have described above (and more) is detailed on my web site,

http://home.nc.rr.com/victoriacd/index.shtml

As you review this site, you will see that while I am quite vocal on some transgender advocacy issues (like HRC), I am really most interested in the the answers to the question "What next?" as it relates to transgendered rights. To address this, and to provide a forum that is less targeted to local groups (like the Triad Gender Association; the Charlotte Gender Alliance; TransCarolina; Cyndi's Circle; etc.), I decided to create the TransAdvocates discussion group, on December 24, 2007. It's my hope that this group will provide the opportunity for (all) persons interested in gender-related rights and freedoms to participate, get to know and support one another, and to allow us to decide, for ourselves, how to settle and advance the issues related to "What next?".

Sincerely,

Victoria S*,
Durham, N.C.