Getting the Most Out of Parent-Teacher Conferences
(Excerpt from "The Truth about Parenting: Navigating the Elementary Years")
by Liza Weidle
It’s all about attitude when it comes to preparing for a parent-teacher conference. Looking back nine years to my first parent-teacher conference, I realize that I had an attitude problem. In my mind, it was "just kindergarten and the conference appeared to be a waste of everyone’s time. Fortunately, my son’s Cary Elementary teacher, Mrs. Kindt, and assistant teacher, Mrs. Hailey, were very professional and took extra time educating my husband and me on how to prepare for future conferences.
By now, most parents have received their child’s quarterly report from school and are meeting for the first time with teachers to discuss their child’s progress. Looking for advice from the experts on how to get the most out of parent-teacher conferences, I went to Angela Slate, 7th grade team leader for Raleigh North Carolina’s Martin Middle School. With 24 years teaching experience including volunteer chaperone for 77 middle school dances, Slate is a remarkable role model for teachers and parents. Here are Slate’s parent-conference tips:
Tip 1: Show respect for teacher’s time and talent. Heartbreaking stories include: the parents who don’t show-up for scheduled conferences, or make statements such as "you work for me and will do what I say." And even more disturbing are the parents who bypass the teachers and go directly to the principal.
Tip 2: Listen to the teacher’s perspective. Open communication and realistic expectations are the trademarks of a successful relationship with your child’s teacher. Once you hear the teacher’s perspective, consider including your child in the conference. Having your child present helps when discussions center on solutions to particular areas of concern that require a change in attitude from everyone involved in the situation.
Tip 3: If you have limited time to meet with your child’s teacher, ask for phone and email conference opportunities. Determine other creative solutions to build better school-home relationships.
Tip 4: Come prepared by reviewing your child’s progress report to identify key areas for discussion. Slate recommends that parents write down questions and be prepared to offer solutions on ways that teachers can work better with your child.
Tip 5: If your child can’t attend the conference, be sure to include their ideas and concerns in the parent-teacher conference discussion. Talk with your child before the conference. Let them know you are meeting with their teacher and ask for ideas of what to discuss. During elementary school, the issues can range from wanting to be the line leader every day to complaints of not having enough time at recess. As your child gets older, their concerns will probably be more specific to coursework. Be on the lookout for deeper issues that could include bullying and peer pressure.
Tip 6. After the conference, be sure to tell your child the outcomes of the conference. It’s important that your child understands that you and her teacher(s) are working together to make her school experience the best possible. Create specific action steps based on the conference topics that you can work on together to enhance your child’s achievements. The steps can be specific to one core class or more generalized. Be sure the goals are measurable. When they are achieved, acknowledge your child’s efforts with hugs and special treats. By working on goals and measurable outcomes early, you are helping child become more accountable and responsible for their own schoolwork and life.
And last, go the extra mile by sending a thank-you note to teachers who graciously give of their time to teach our children valuable lessons that will last a lifetime.
