Molly Ellen's Birth Story

The story of Molly Ellen's birth begins long before the actual birth. It starts, really, with the birth of my first child, Cullen, an arduous induced labor ending in a cesarean section. When I became pregnant again, I knew I wanted something different. I had considered a midwife managed home birth with Cullen, but being my first child, opted not to. This time I was sure this was the way for me.

Having a midwife was wonderful. The care and compassion cannot compare to the obstetric model of care. Because of conditions and restrictions in this state, I went through hospital-based and lay midwifery care concurrently. I cannot say enough about the differences and expectations of each. In one I was expected to fail, and in the other I was expected to behave triumphantly. As any mother knows, one often does as one is expected to do.

I was very ill during both of my pregnancies. After nine long months of sickness, I began my 38th week with excited anticipation of the birth. An exam revealed I was already 2cm dilated. I tried to contain my enthusiasm, but was overjoyed that my body was responding, because I entered a 42-week induction with Cullen at only 1cm. Finally, my body was preparing for the birth. A week later, I was at 4cm! Almost half way there and no contractions. On the day after my due date, I was 5cm! I couldn't believe I wasn't in labor. This was Sunday afternoon, Monday morning at 4:10am I woke up and stretched in bed and felt my water break. I asked my husband, Carl, to get me a towel. Being asleep he moved very slowly but when I said "hurry!" he got the message that something was happening. By the time I made it to the bathroom, I had my first real contraction. I say real because there was absolutely no doubt that this was labor and it hurt. Carl wanted to call our midwife right away since she had over an hour's drive, but I said we should time the contractions first, because she would ask that. Carl agreed and handed me the watch and walked out to fill the birth tub. I called to him, "You see, I have the contractions and you time them." We both laughed. Turned out the contractions were about 3 minutes apart and lasting 45-50 seconds, not long before the baby would be here.

My mother and sister were here for the birth and both were awakened. They helped boil water, just like in the movies, only this water was for the birth tub. I walked, sat on the birth ball and rocked waiting for the tub. It was filled and ready for me in about an hour. By this time, I was definitely ready for it. When I got in, it was wonderful! Immediate relief! Carl got in with me and he was great to lean on. My doula had arrived and she never left me. The constant attention was so comforting. I barely had to voice my concerns or needs before she attended to them. Often only one word was needed to convey what I wanted. I had been laboring for some time in the water when my midwife arrived. She asked if I was hot, and then said I looked flushed. I was very hot and becoming uncomfortable. I took a break from the water and labored on the toilet, which was near an A/C vent. The cool air felt wonderful, though my doula and husband were freezing. The contractions were getting stronger and stronger and I could feel the baby moving down. Then, about 7 am the pain became harder to deal with. It wasn't going totally away after the contractions. I was feeling overwhelmed by everything. I could hear a small still voice inside me reminding me to remain calm and work through it; that's what I tell my clients. By 7:30 am I was feeling urges to push, and it really scared me. This was a very powerful feeling and I wasn't giving in to it. It took me several contractions to figure out what was going on. Why was I fighting this? What was I scared of? Then, my doula said to reach down and see if I could feel the baby. I did and I felt the baby's wrinkled head just inside me. That was it! This baby was coming out through my vagina and no one was going to stop her. I don't think I truly visualized this before that moment. Perhaps in my unconscious I thought someone would come and "save" me and do the work for me, like last time. But now I realized, I had to push this baby out. This was the only way.

With these empowering thoughts, I got up to go to the bathroom and then decided not to get back into the tub; I was just too hot. I crawled to a chair and got on my hands and knees, with my upper body resting in the seat. It was there that I finally let go and really began to push in earnest. It felt great to work so hard and the contraction pain finally subsided. I sweated and groaned and pushed. My husband was directly behind me helping to massage. Finally Molly's head peeked out and with the somewhat loud encouragement from my "team," (they were yelling to be heard against my vocalizations) I pushed Molly's head out. My husband's hands cradled her. She tried to breathe and the midwife encouraged me to get her out. By this time I didn't need encouraging, I wanted her out more than anyone. One more push and out she came, into my husbands hands. Everyone exclaimed and I couldn't believe it. Just like that, it was over. No more pain, just very tired. It was 8:36 am.

I sat down and held my beautiful big baby. I rested and snuggled and drank some orange juice and herbs. My sister was very excited to cut the cord. My first son Cullen came in, but at 20 months, he was more interested in the water tub than in the new baby. He cooled us off with some splashes. I lay down with Molly and just rested until she latched on about 30 minutes after the birth. With that stimulation, I delivered the placenta at 45 minutes after the birth. I felt very lucky to have a patient midwife, because I knew that would not have happened at the hospital. Then Molly and I took an herbal bath with lavender, myrrh and other healing herbs that my midwife had prepared. It felt wonderful and Molly was so wide-awake, just looking around. While I dried off and got dressed, Molly was measured. She weighed 9lb 10oz and was 21 inches long.

Later we all sat down and ate a wonderful lunch my mother had prepared. Then we all took a well-deserved nap, all except Carl who was too full of excitement to sleep. Molly Ellen's birth was more than my heart desired. It was a completely healing experience and made me believe in myself more than ever. That feeling is the birthright of all women, to be loved, supported and courageous in childbirth.